


Higher I Get, the Lower I Sink

by daddykink (halogenharry)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Bottom Niall, Bottom Zayn, Come Shot, Daddy Kink, Daddy Zayn, Dirty boys in a van, Facials, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Group Sex, Hair-pulling, Harry likes to tease a lot, Hurt Louis, Kid Fic, Louis-centric, M/M, Multi, Niall loves everyone and everyone loves Niall, Niall-centric, Nipple Play, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Punk Band Au, Rimming, Spanking, Teasing, Top Harry, Top Zayn, Underage Drinking, i love rimming, idk what to even tag this, very quick spanking but it's there, while Zayn loves Niall calling him daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:24:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3338804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halogenharry/pseuds/daddykink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry, Niall, Zayn, Louis and Liam live their lives in a van, travelling around around the UK and pitching their punk band to little hole in the wall places. They live off the little bits of money they make, spending it all on food, alcohol and drugs. Every night they're messing around with either some girl or guy from their gig that night or with one another.</p>
<p>None of them even thought about the possibility of having to commit or slow down until a few sudden events rock their little van life - Zayn and Harry decide to make their relationship official and Niall ends up with a kid from one of his one night stands. </p>
<p>or, basically, a dirty boys in a van AU where they live a carefree lifestyle with the occasional dose of emotions, attachment and surprises that none of them could have predicted</p>
            </blockquote>





	Higher I Get, the Lower I Sink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dessertmeltdown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessertmeltdown/gifts).



Smoke billowed around the van, filling it with a thin fog that covered every surface with a layer of vapor. The smoke continued, pouring from each boys' mouth as they sat in their van and did what they did best. Their fingers easily passed the blunt after they took their drag, as they had done a hundred times before. Sometimes when they were desiring contact of any kind, the boy who's turn had just finished would give the next person the blunt, turn back and grab their neighbor by the back of their neck and guide their face close to their own so they could blow the smoke in their mouth. Each boy had a few of their favorite partners, of course: Zayn's were Harry and Louis (but on the days he needed someone cute and innocent, he loved Niall); Louis' were Harry and Liam (though Zayn was up there when he didn't shave); Liam's were Niall and Zayn; Niall's were Zayn and Louis (sometimes Harry simply be a he had the softest lips out of all of them); and lastly, Harry's favorite was Zayn when he wanted something rough and rugged and Louis when he wanted something soft and delicate.

But no matter who they preferred, all five boys loved each other and would do everything together from smoking to fooling around.

They were in a punk band of sorts, having minimal talent but large amounts of charisma that attracted crowds to them regularly. Much of their attention was from girls which none of them minded. It was great hearing someone cheer for them during their set and it was even better when they got some head.

Life was carefree living in a van while trying to make a living as a punk rock band. They usually only had enough money for food, alcohol and weed; that’s all they needed anyway. There were a few times they got lucky at the places they regularly returned to, but that was a rarity since their travel cut down the times they could frequent those places. Their nights were always filled with gigs and hook ups, mostly with each other since they knew what they were getting into each time (after the many times Niall brought in a girl who thought he was actually going to leave the van life for her and/or wanted a relationship, they were careful about bringing girls back).

They found places to park their van wherever they could at night and usually were on the road throughout the day, which was the original point of taking on this life - constant road trip.

That’s how Louis and Niall convinced Zayn, Harry and Liam when they showed up with the “Mystery Machine”. The van was old, a genuine 70s van fully decked out in shag carpet and peace signs scattered all around; the outside had been painted to look like the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo and it had stayed well even with the age. It had smelled like weed when they got it so the activities they had planned were no problem at all.

However, Liam hadn’t been easily convinced on their plan.

“But to do this… this road trip, we have to leave everything behind and just hope that we can make enough money to eat,” Liam stated with apparent concern.

“And buy weed,” Zayn added.

Harry finished, “And alcohol.”

Liam shook his head, obviously disturbed by this ridiculous idea. “We can’t do this. We’ll starve! You want to buy weed and alcohol? With what money? Where will we get money? Our band isn’t that good, you know. Harry and Zayn can sing and Niall can play guitar, Zayn’s not bad at bass, but other than that we really can’t play. Who’s going to pay to see us?”

“Girls,” Louis answered.

Zayn, adding off of Louis, said, “Girls who like guys who are in a band.”

“So basically, girls,” Harry concluded, which they all hummed in agreement with because on average, it was true: girls loved guys who are in a band.

Zayn, who was getting sick of all this unnecessary discussion, turned to Liam so he could look him in the eyes. “Liam, I love you and you’re one of my best friends in the whole world.” Liam smiled at that, Zayn was probably his favorite person especially when he went all artsy philosopher on him. Not that he expected this to be one of those times, but those times were in favorite. Zayn continued, “I truly love you, but sometimes you are the most uptight person on this earth. And you really need to get the stick out of your ass and live a little for once. Stop overthinking and just live, Liam. Live. Life will be waiting for you when we end this journey but for now, why don’t you try living in the now?”

Liam still seemed uneasy, but was softening to the idea of going on this journey now that Zayn put it that way. The boys watched on as Liam’s face changed from uneasiness to agreeance (none of them were surprised, Zayn could get Liam to do anything).

And that was that.

Now, five years later, they still travelled around in the same van doing generally the same things and it never got old.

On that particular night they had a gig. They had been booked as a cover band since the little hole in the wall cafe wasn’t sure about taking a gamble on their music and asked them to play Green Day and Blink 182 plus anything that was requested (at first they were going to let them play original songs but that was until Niall walked in during Zayn and Harry’s business meeting singing Irish folk completely drunk and wearing a kilt and whatever else Harry and Zayn didn’t know the name of and the pair wanted to strangle their friend).

Despite the minor annoying setback, the night was going well since every song requested was one they knew and the energy of the crowd was amazing. The aura filling the room was contagious, hyping all the boys up and giving them proper adrenaline throughout the show. Harry and Zayn, as the front men of the band, felt completely buzzed as they took the stage and got in the crowd’s face. There was a tension on stage, a haze even, between the pair that could practically be seen from every corner of the room. Zayn was purposefully pushing his bum out for Harry to see, which the band caught on to and all rolled their eyes; they knew the attraction between Zayn and Harry that they never really acted on as to not make anything awkward in the band or end any of the usual shenanigans even though they were practically boyfriends. It was made evident by the way Zayn pressed himself to Harry’s front and teased his bum against his cock through their jeans and by the way Harry grabbed Zayn’s hips and bit his neck, it was made known to everyone that they’d be fucking later when they all got back to the van.

It was such a usual occurrence that they all mostly stopped caring about. They were only slightly into watching each other; sometimes it was hot and caused an orgy, but other times it did very little for the rest in the van. And beyond that, none of the other boys wanted to step on what Harry and Zayn had since they refused to commit (only for the reasons stated previously, it was also apparent they would commit if they didn’t fear messing up their current lifestyle). Also another problem presented itself in the way of Harry and Zayn’s relationship - Liam’s very, very obvious feelings for Zayn.

Everyone, including Zayn, knew that Liam was hopelessly in love with Zayn. He barely even brought people back because you could see in his eyes that he always had this hope that it would be him and Zayn in bed and then he was utterly terrible at hiding his disappointment when it wasn’t. Liam always tried to put on a face showing that he was happy if Zayn was happy, but he had always been a bad actor.

Zayn, of course, felt bad about making one of his best friends hurt like this but he didn’t know what to do anymore. Liam and Zayn had sat down on multiple occasions to decided what will work for them, each time Zayn saying he was willing to either calm it on the amount of hook ups he has or go somewhere else with them, but Liam always turned down his offers, saying he doesn’t want to make Zayn change himself just because of him. He didn’t feel it would be fair with Zayn giving up something for him (especially since they’re not together) and he’s not giving anything up for him. Liam was all about compromising, but one side gaining while side two mostly gives wouldn’t be right. And that’s how they left it - Zayn would continue his ways and Liam would find a way to handle it but so far all he had found was alcohol.

Nevertheless, Harry and Zayn were all over each other, kissing and grabbing each other and they only got raunchier as night went on. It wasn’t sloppy, however, seeing as they both had very little to drink before the show and hadn’t smoked a bowl in hours. They preferred to do majority of their shows nearly sober, only ever allowing a beer or a vodka tonic before and a cigarette or two. In the early days they had done a few shows high and one drunk but it never felt right to them. It felt like they were handicapping themselves from their creative flow and their connection with the space and the crowd. They were incredibly slow and disoriented while high and when they were drunk it was simply sloppy. Both boys didn’t like not being able to give the crowd the best show possible but Zayn more than anything hated seeing how sick Harry was afterwards. He, of course, was willing to take care of him but he never wanted to see Harry like that again. That was the thing about Harry and Zayn, they were careless in every aspect of their lives except for each other.

In the middle of a great guitar solo, Harry grabbed Zayn’s wrist and pulled him against him. “Such a fucking tease, aren’t you, Zayn? You just love the attention, the way I look at you, the way I touch you.” Harry nipped lightly at Zayn’s ear. “I think I might just be in love with you.”

When the guitar solo was over, Harry dragged himself away to sing the final chorus at the head of the stage. Zayn would have joined him, but Harry’s words were ringing in his ears.

Harry had dropped the “L” word. And not just in an “I love you, bro” or an “I love you, man” sort of way that they usually threw around. He said in love. Harry might be in love with him. Zayn usually didn’t like to show his affections deeply or  any type of vulnerability seeing as it made him feel weak.  But that was the incredible thing about Harry - he never made him feel weak. No matter what he told him or did Harry never saw him as weak, rather the exact opposite, To think that someone who meant so much to him could actually feel that way about him, and at the same time reciprocating the feelings Zayn had been pushing down for months, that was one the best gifts he could ask for.

Louis played the last few beats of the song before end in a roar of cymbals over the cheering from the crowd. They exited the stage, effortlessly kicking over microphone stands and a few miscellaneous lights in the process. They took their instruments off with them and Louis did the work of moving his drum set off by himself. Zayn and Harry were no help packing back up, but once the other three were done and they took one last look at their mates kissing and playfully wrestling they made it known to the two, who couldn’t care less, where they were going and made their way back into the bar.

Harry was obviously ready to just get started already, but after what happened onstage Zayn wanted nothing more but to talk.

“Finally we’re alone,” Harry sighed, leaning into leave open mouthed kisses all over Zayn’s neck.

As good as it felt, Zayn lightly pushed him off to look at Harry who had a mix of hurt and confusion written on his face.

“I thought… I thought you... “ Harry said, unable to word the sentence since he wanted to respect Zayn’s wishes but he really thought he had wanted this especially with the way he was acting on stage.

 

Zayn waved his hands, trying to wave his fears and feelings of rejection away. “No, no, I do. I just…” Zayn took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “Onstage tonight, you said something.” Harry looked at him with the same concerned look until it hit him what he meant. His face immediately and his stare gained a new intensity, but the uncertainty was still present. “Did you mean it?”

Harry lightly caressed Zayn’s cheek. “Of course I did, Zayn. We may not talk about our feelings often, but you mean the world to me and everything about you is just… I don’t know, you’re fucking amazing, alright? You’re absolutely breathtaking and this road trip is the best thing to ever happen to me because it let me really get to know you. I know I sleep around a lot, as do you, but I never felt anything unless it was with you. It’s been like that for four and a half years. The first six months I was just trying to figure out who was I was or what I was doing and who I liked or whatever else but after I got through that, you were the obvious choice. I realized I was in love with you three years ago on a Friday night in October when you looked over at me and said, ‘Because you just want to be a punk rocker with flowers in your hair, don’t you, bakery boy? I’ll make you a flower crown someday, I used to make ‘em all the time with my sisters, but not tonight. Tonight we’re going to go get drunk and dance and have a grand ol’ time and after you’re going to make love to me to some of that hipster indie music that you love so much. Would you like that? Because I sure would.’ And I said to you, ‘Don’t you want to go with Liam or Louis?’ But you replied in the most serious manner that I have ever seen you in, ‘There’s no one I’d rather go with than you, H.’ And that was it, I was completely taken by you, but I kept it to myself until now in case you either didn’t feel the same way or didn’t want me to worry about like you have Liam. I didn’t want to be a burden for you. And I still don’t want to be, Z. I just wanted you to know s’all.”

Zayn shook his head with a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I wanted to think this through before I spoke, but with you I feel no need to have a filter. You’ve never judged me for a single thing I’ve done or said. You’re… Harry.” Zayn quickly reached past him to grab the pack of cigarettes and lighter, offering Harry one but was turned down, before lighting and continuing. “You’re Harry and you’re one of the best people to ever walk this Earth. You talk slow as a tortoise but your mind is constantly working through all these deep and profound things. You love books so much you actually installed a bookshelf into the van because you wanted the van to be homely and inviting. Only you would try to make a van homely and inviting, H. It was extremely endearing, though. Watching you pick out the perfect shelf with all your measurements and the pencil behind your ear. But later, when you installed it... “ Zayn took a dragging a drag, smirking as he remembered that day in great detail and out of the corner of his eye he saw Harry blushing, signalling he remembered it, too. “You remember that day that all of us wanted to sleep except for you so you decided to go to the local bar by yourself and you got in that horrible fight? You came home completely naked and wrecked.” Zayn’s face hardened. “Those guys could have killed you. You were cut up so badly… I took care of you that night. The other boys tried but they weren’t fully sure what to do. I stayed by your side all night in case you needed anything and to replace the bandages every few hours. I had always taken care of people, ya know? My sisters, my Mum, everybody. But for whatever reason I enjoyed taking care of you. The next week I had a bad trip on some LSD I got from some guy at our show. You never left me. I ran from you and tried to hit you and whatever else, but you stayed. To be completely honest, I had never like being taken care of all that much. It made me feel weak and helpless. But something about being taken care of by you felt nice. It felt natural. That was when I knew I loved you. I thought it’d be simple just admiring you from afar and continuing our lives the way they were but gradually it has become more and more inadequate.”

Carefully, Harry moved closer to Zayn, invading his personal space. Harry was lustful, that was apparent. Long before this day, Zayn thought Harry would more than likely be more aroused after feelings were confessed because now it was no longer just a fuck; confessions of feelings immediately made everything more meaningful and intimate and that turned Harry on. Zayn decided to take advantage of Harry like this and inhaled his cigarette, blowing the smoke into Harry’s slightly open mouth.

“You’ve been trying to kill me all night, haven’t you?”

Zayn shrugged and backed up to the head of the day bed to lean himself back. Harry was right behind, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. “Come on, Styles. Do what you want with me. I’m yours for the night to do with what you please. Take me.”

That final push sent Harry over the edge, he pulled Zayn down the bed by his legs and kneeled between his already spread knees. He launched forward, sucking on Zayn’s bottom lip and running his hand up the sides of his shirt, cold fingers to warm skin which made Zayn shiver. Harry grinded his clothed erection against Zayn’s feeling his whimper against his lips as he continued kissing. Carefully, without breaking the kiss, Harry slid the cigarette out of Zayn’s fingers and into his own. “With how hard I’ll be fucking you, this’ll be dangerous. Don’t want you getting burnt, ya know?” He stuck it between his lips and sat back on his calves, looking down at the panting boy beneath him. Zayn’s liquid amber eyes bore into his own emerald ones, allowing Harry to see the fire burning behind them.

“So are ya gonna fuck me or are you just gonna stare at me all night?”

Harry rolled his eyes as he trailed his thumb down Zayn’s cheekbones, across his bottom lip and down his neck towards his collarbone. “S’not my fault I have the most beautiful person to walk this earth laid out before me.”

Zayn returned his eye roll. “You’re such a bloody sap, Styles.”

“Ah, but I’m your bloody sap, Malik,” Harry countered.

Before Zayn could mutter another retort, Harry grazed his hand over the outline of Zayn’s erection in his pants, causing his breath to catch and his hips to buck a bit. He pressed down ever so slightly, Zayn whimpering at the pressure and hoping for more, but Harry let go as fast as he had gotten there. “Shirt off,” Harry stated as he took his own off. Zayn quickly obliged, wanting skin to skin contact more than anything.

Harry outlined the outside of Zayn’s gun tattoo, always having been mesmerized by its intricacy and the way it splayed out against his caramel skin, but had never had the time to look at it closely. This time was different than any other time that they had sex; everything felt so relaxed and languid rather than rushed and choppy. Harry wanted to take his time and learn every inch of Zayn’s body.

It was something he had always wanted to do. Harry had admired Zayn’s body but he felt that a lover, his lover for that matter, deserved to be cherished and that was all he wanted to do. Of course that was among other things, but Harry was determined to make their first time after confessing their feelings special.

Zayn could feel the tight constraints around his erection tighten as Harry’s fingers traced his most intimately placed tattoo. It had meant a lot to him when he got it, representing his introverted and sometimes reserved nature in some situations, but in the background or when he was comfortable, he was loud and even ostentatious. He had ask the tattoo artist to add the detail of a silencer on the gun if possible, showing that at all times he was was a gun ready to go off, but he chose when he portrayed his full self.  

The hands finally settled near his upper torso, but the sensation relief didn’t last long as Harry dragged his thumbs across each of Zayn’s nipples. Zayn had always had a thing for nipple play though he never had sensitive nipples unless he was with Harry. Something about being touched by Harry heightened his senses and made for a more pleasurable experience in every aspect. The tightness around his hard cock got even more unbearable as Harry began to pull and twist the little nubs beneath his fingertips. Zayn was getting desperate for more, a feeling he wasn’t really used to since everything was always fast and given to him when he wanted it but right now it seemed to him that Harry was enjoying taking his sweet old time and watching as Zayn’s pupils dilated and darkened with every passing minute.

Smoke continued to pour out of Harry’s mouth periodically as he finally made his way down to Zayn’s hips. He undid Zayn’s belt and zipper to finally release Zayn from the confines of his jeans. He pulled them down to Zayn’s knees, who kicked them off the rest of the way, as he looked at the bulge in Zayn’s pants near the wet spot from his leaking precum. Harry pulled his boxers down past his dick, making Zayn kiss at the sudden touch of air to the hot skin of his cock.

“So pretty,” Harry mused as he wrapped his hand around the base of Zayn’s cock and stroked achingly slow, “and all mine. Would you like to be all mine, Zayn?”

Zayn nodded as he ached for more, Harry’s pace nearly killing him. “Take me… please,” Zayn begged, sounding breathless and impatient. He realized how early it was and Harry had only just started, but he wanted Harry so badly that he couldn’t help himself. “Please, I need it…”

Harry tsked. “Only ‘it’, Zayn? How completely unromantic.”

“I need you. I need you, you fucking tease.”

At that, Harry no longer held back. He ripped Zayn’s jeans off the rest of the way before throwing them carelessly behind them. Blindly Zayn located the lube where it had been discarded previously. He threw it near Harry's thigh as he felt his legs being pressed to his chest, opening him up and displaying him to Harry. Harry watched as Zayn's hole fluttered under his gaze. He wanted nothing more than to hear Zayn whimper and whine as he tasted him.  

Setting the cigarette in the class ashtray, Harry circled his opening with his middle finger. He watched as Zayn bit his lip, waiting for Harry to stop teasing him.

Eventually Harry picked up the bottle next to him and lubed up three fingers. He spread the lube over his waiting hole,  Zayn hissing at the cold temperature against his heat.

"Ready?"

Zayn nodded, "Yes, yes please."

Harry began to press his first finger in, making it to the first knuckle before checking to see how Zayn was doing. It had been a few days since they had done this last and Harry wanted this to be good for Zayn without any pain. However, Zayn looked like he was doing fine so far; he barely made a sound or showed any sign of discomfort.

He slid in easily to the first knuckle, watching Zayn as he exhaled before pressing all the way in. Zayn squeezed his eyes shut as the burn started to take hold but still felt good.

“You good, babe?” He said as his finger went all the way in and he leisurely began to thrust in and out.

Zayn opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by an abrupt moan as Harry’s fingers brushed his prostate. Harry smirked as he felt the little bundle of nerves, but made sure to back off of it, not wanting Zayn to come too soon. He continued moving in and on, gradually building up speed before adding his second finger.

The stretch felt so good alongside Harry’s long fingers working him, making a string of moans and curses to fall from his lips as he scissored him. Zayn was in pure bliss there on that bed despite how badly he wanted Harry’s cock to fill him up. He felt a third finger begin to slide in next the rest just before Harry’s fingers accidentally hit his prostate again harder this time, pushing a moan out of him and making his thighs shake. Harry was absolutely loving this sight, Zayn open, needy and waiting for his cock with his eyes shut tight, the sharp rise and fall of his chest as his breath caught and his own cock flushed and leaking against his stomach.

Between moans, Zayn attempted to spit out, “Harry… Harry, I’m ready… please…”

Harry obliged, slipping his fingers out and standing up to slip out of his jeans and boxers, kicking them to the side.

Zayn whined at the loss, feeling empty and exposed. He needed something, anything, so he reached beneath himself to finger himself as he waited, but it didn’t feel anywhere near as good as Harry’s fingers did. Harry smirked. “You’re so needy for me, aren’t you, baby?” He climbed back onto the bed. “Hands and knees.” Zayn did as he was told and rested his head on his forearm. He felt Harry’s hand on his hip, making his presence known and heightening Zayn’s anticipation.

The head of Harry’s cock swept over the area between his cheeks and over his hole. Feelings of desperation gathered in the pit of Zayn’s stomach and swept over his whole body. Teasing had always been one of Harry’s favorite things to do, especially with Zayn seeing how he reacted vocally with near sobs and soft spoken pleads. Feeling it had been long enough, Harry lined himself up and pressed in, feeling the tight, familiar heat engulf him. Zayn’s fingers clutched the sheet beneath him as he finally felt the delicious stretch he had been craving. Harry was thick and Zayn loved every long second until Harry finally bottomed out with a low groan.

Harry was prepared to wait until Zayn got used to the stretch, but Zayn’s eagerness got the best of him. He knew it would probably be smart to wait seeing as it had been a bit since they had done this last, but Zayn paid no mind and began to fuck himself on Harry’s cock, which was something he knew Harry enjoyed. Harry loved when Zayn used his body to get off in one way or another; of course he loved the control he had while domming, but he also loved being able to give himself up to someone to simply use for their own pleasure. Harry pulled his hips back so that Zayn had to work harder to get what he wanted. Zayn gradually got more and more vocal as he had to work harder to get what he wanted and this caused his prostate to be caught repeatedly, pushing him closer and closer to his orgasm.

Even though this was one of the hottest things he had ever seen and heard, Harry snapped his hips forward, pushing forward as he pushed back, jolting him slightly. “Fuck, right there, right th… please… fuck…” Zayn slurred out.

Harry tightly held Zayn’s hips tight and thrust into him, hitting him deep and hard, just how Zayn liked it.

Deep grunts rumbled from Harry as Zayn’s legs gave out and he lay flat on his stomach, allowing Harry an even better angle to nearly pull out and back in, the head of his cock catching at Zayn’s rim.

Listening to Zayn’s moans get higher and more full, Harry realized how close Zayn was. “You gonna come, babe? You wanna come for me? Go on, come.”

Zayn bit his hand as he felt a tight heat build in his lower abdomen, but that didn’t last long as he felt a sharp smack on his ass, sending him over the edge. He came loudly, spraying all over himself and the sheets.

“That’s right, I want to hear you come.”

Zayn was thankful when Harry pulled out due to his oversensitivity, but was surprised when he felt himself being flipped over.

Harry was, obviously, still hard and had a few ideas as to how he could get himself off. “Will you come for me again, babe?” Harry bent down and kissed all over Zayn’s neck, sucking a bruise right above the collarbone (Harry knew that was Zayn’s favorite spot). Against his skin, Harry mentioned, “I want us to come at the same time.”

Zayn sensed himself getting hard again and nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than Harry to come inside him. Harry placed one last brisk kiss the bruise he had just made before lining himself back up and pressing in. This time he went all the way in one swift motion and Zayn’s back arched at the sensation returning.

Harry quickly picked back up at the speed he was going previously and also managed to angle himself just right to hit Zayn’s sweet spot with each new thrust. Zayn clenched around him, everything feeling like too much and not enough at all at the same time. Both in need of something to hold onto, in their fervor they laced hands, staring intensely into each other’s eyes as that heat built up again.

“Together,” Harry grunted, his thrusts getting sloppier as he neared his high.

Zayn breathlessly repeated, “Together” just before they both came; Zayn’s colored white stripes up their chests and stomachs, Harry’s filled Zayn up just how he liked to be.

Harry fucked them through it and when they were both done, they stayed how they were for a while, calming themselves down.

As they began to come down from their highs, Harry carefully pulled out trying to be careful seeing as they were both very sensitive. He eyed Zayn beneath him who eyed him back, both panting and tired, ready to fall asleep tangled up in each other, but both of them knew that they needed to get this settled.

“So…,” Zayn began.

“So…,” Harry repeated.

“What are we now, H?”

Harry shrugged. “What do you want to be? I’ll be anything with you.”

Zayn carded his fingers through Harry’s long curls, taking everything it all in. “So… boyfriends?”

Harry smiled so deeply, his dimples popped out of his cheeks. “By all means.”

The whole situation was kind of funny to them seeing as they had been beating around the bush for three years. They had both wanted this, but neither had made the move to say it, completely in fear of what the other would say even though their feelings were incredibly obvious. Everyone who had ever met them in the past few years had asked them if they were dating regularly but they both just saw it as the other being nice. But now everything felt right because now they were exclusively dating and though it will change some of their usual habits and could potentially cause ripples in the band, they were happy and in that moment as they cuddle outside the rowdy bar, that was all that mattered.

A few hours later, the other boys finally came back, completely hammered and ready to sleep wherever they landed. They stepped into the van, none of them surprised to find Harry and Zayn cuddled up, Zayn hogging the blanket and Harry’s nakedness on display. They all chuckled in their drunkenness and because this was probably the thousandth time seeing Harry naked. They were all happy for them, knowing that they had a good night and they all went to bed with heavy eyes and small smiles on their lips, not knowing the full story of Harry and Zayn’s night just yet.

The next morning, Zayn, Louis Niall and Liam were woken up to the smell of fresh coffee, omelets and french toast. Their fold-up table was set for five, there was even a vase of flowers standing tall in the center. They all watched as Harry worked each of their hot plates expertly and divided up the contents onto five plates. He began to set the table just as he noticed everyone watching him. “Oh, good morning, boys. I was up early so I decided to make some breakfast. It’s done now, so come eat.”

No one argued because they all always loved Harry’s cooking. He was a better cook than all of them though Zayn and Liam were very close seconds and Niall could work a grill better than any of them. Louis, however, was completely useless in the kitchen but no ever minded because they loved having him around despite the many times he had tried to cook for them and nearly given them food poisoning.

All the boys slowly made their way to the table, putting on minor items of clothing such as boxers and crop tops, Harry placing a plate of food in front of them as they came. Louis was second to last and stood behind his chair waiting for his usual morning kiss from Harry. It had been something that started about two years earlier one morning after they had a fantastic night before. Afterward it just became second nature and all the boys had taken notice. They had also noticed how much that singular kiss meant to Louis and how it merely meant the same for Harry. No one wanted to say anything, but none of them thought there was ever a chance of it ending so they never worried about Louis getting hurt. So he waited, expecting his kiss when Harry stepped slightly past him to set his food down, but as Louis attempted to prompt him to lean down, Harry simply smiled and stepped around him, making his way to Zayn. When he got to Zayn, Harry set the food down and immediately cupped Zayn’s face in his hands. “Good morning, baby,” Harry practically sang. He kissed him , one of those show-offy quick kisses that were usually meant to show everyone around they were something special, but because it was Harry, he just wanted to kiss Zayn like that to kiss Zayn like that, but it still set Louis off.  Harry felt a tug on his arm, spinning him around to face a fuming Louis. “What are doing, Harry?!? That was my kiss. My kiss! We’ve kissed every morning for two years. What are you doing?”    

Harry sighed deeply, his face painted with upset and worry. Neither Harry nor Zayn had thought about how the other boys react to their relationship considering they had seen them together so many times before, but this actually changed the dynamics. They had mainly thought about themselves which which had seemed like the smartest idea.

"Louis," Harry started, "this wasn't an attempt to hurt you in anyway. Rather, neither of us thought of how this would affect all of you."

Liam's eyebrows furrowed. "What is this?"

Zayn was starting to feel uneasy but he didn't want to hide anything so he stated simply, "“We’re together now. I know you guys may not like it, but we had to do what was right for us and we feel that being a couple is right for us. I’m sorry if you guys don’t like it, but I’m happy being able to call Harry mine.”

Louis looked as though smoke was about to pour out of his ears. It was a somewhat funny sight seeing as Louis was shorter than any of them but had the quickest temper (not the worst temper however, that was Harry hands down). The air was tense as Louis shot daggers at Harry from his eyes and looked as though he was ready to launch himself at him. And for all they knew he might have been because as delicate and fragile as they saw Louis, he would rather fight physically than talk his feelings out because one made him feel completely helpless and numb and the other allowed him to be made numb, which he preferred. Showing weakness was one of Louis’ ultimate dislikes and the fact that Harry, whom was probably his best mate in the van and he had loved for over a year, was doing this to him was completely unacceptable in his mind. “Harry, I know we aren’t together, but you were mine. At least, I saw you as mine. You were my best mate. You were my morning kiss. You were my shoulder to cry on when I was upset. You were mine and we were supposed to spend our lives together and have the kids you always wanted, all six of them, and live in one of those country homes with all that character shit that you like and we would grow our food - I was ready to go vegetarian for you, asshole - and you could open up that yoga, painting, tattoos and other forms of relaxation shop that you randomly liked to talk through plans about. We were supposed to be together… I thought when I asked you if we’d be together forever that you got what I meant. I never thought you could think I meant friendship but… I guess… you did.”

When he  finished, a few stray tears rolled down Louis’ cheeks, which Harry swiftly wiped with the pad of his thumb. He held his cheeks in his hands and looked him straight in the eye. “Louis,” Harry said, his voice cracking, “I didn't do this to hurt you. I care about you so much, Lou. I can’t lie to you and tell you that I never thought we could be together. I knew we could be together. I knew we could be great.” A sad smile lifted the corners of Louis lips before drooping again like a wilted flower. “But, I’ve done a lot of thinking and in the end I came to the conclusion that Zayn made sense. Louis, I’ve loved Zayn for three years now. I chose to tell him how I felt last night so I could have it off my chest and move on if I had to, but in the end he reciprocated and we decided that we wanted to be together. Very honestly Louis, you weren’t a second choice so don’t think. I could have chosen either of you, but I decided to attempt the chapter of my life that had been open the longest and it worked out this way. I’m sorry, Lou. I truly am, but I want to be with him and he wants to be with me. I’m so, so sorry.”

The silence continued, possibly more intense than before. No one knew what to say considering there wasn’t much to say and besides, this was between Harry and Louis, who no one ever wanted to get between.

Breaking the silence, Niall accidentally dropped his fork with too much food piled on it, splattering bits onto the table around and the lower half of his face. Niall gave them all a nervous smile with a shaky chuckle. “Sorry lads, t’was hungry, ya know?” All the boys rolled their eyes and looked at him fondly, thankful to have Niall to break tense moments with a little humor. Louis, Harry and Zayn, in that order, sat down at the table and dug into their food. Louis, who still wanted to strangle Harry for breaking his heart like this in front of everyone, couldn’t help but melt when he tasted the french toast. “I’m still mad at you, just a little,” Louis blurted between bites, “but as long as you still cook for me, our friendship is not completely tarnished because as much I wanted you to be mine, I like seeing you happy even more.”

The other boys froze. This was nothing like the heartbroken Louis they had seen in the past who had spent days watching SKINS reruns on Youtube, eating all their ice cream and washing it down with bourbon and whiskey. Heartbroken Louis usually cursed the man to ever have the nerve to hurt him and wished him unhappiness for the rest of his days. But then again, this was about Harry and Harry made him act differently than the others. Harry could calm Louis down with a simple brief touch.

When breakfast was over, they all took part in cleaning up and preparing to get back on the road. That day it was Liam’s turn to drive so he left to take the daily check under the hood; Harry and Zayn washed the dishes (in the end they were covered in soap suds and had to go hose off  before they could leave); and Niall were on clean up everything else/stay out of the way duty. The only reason they did this was they didn’t have much money so they couldn’t afford to repair the van so they wanted to catch anything themselves before it got bad. And once before on their way to Trowbridge they had a lot of dishes with food left inside sitting in the sink and an excessive amounts of ashes in the ashtrays. Harry made one overly sharp turn and all that food and ashes came flying at them. After that they realized it was better to clean those things out so they could avoid having Italian vinaigrette soaked into their boxers and mashed potatoes in their hair. Especially since they never heard the end of it from Zayn last time seeing as he saw himself completely faultless because he cleaned his dishes.

That day they were going to Manchester which was one of their absolute favorite places with it’s great nightlife. Of course, they found great nightlife everywhere, but something about Manchester really drew them in.

Niall was cuddled up Louis, sleeping soundly next to him with Louis’ arms wrapped around him. Niall loved Louis dearly, but he did this with all of the boys one day or another. His choice mainly depended on who he could get his hands on first or what type of body he was looking to cuddle with - if he wanted soft and inviting, he chose Louis; Harry was great for tight, warm and loving; Zayn was comforting and good for when Niall wanted a cuddle and a round of video games or comics; and Liam was like a big, strong teddy bear who usually told him some story before falling asleep with him. That day he wanted a human pillow and he wanted to make sure he was ok so Niall chose Louis.

They laid on the seat while Zayn and Harry took the bed to play video games from. Niall knew Louis hated cuddling there, which was why he never asked anyone to cuddle there besides Liam, but Niall loved it. It was small, but comfortable and made for an even more intimate situation. You couldn’t run away from questions there and it truly felt like they were the only two people in the world.

“So how ya feeling, Lou? Enjoy the show last night?” Niall inquired. “You killed it, for sure.” He looked at Louis with his big, sparkling blue eyes that reminded Louis of a puppy dog and never failed to make him melt.

Louis shrugged off his compliment, though. “T’was a good show but eh, I did alright. You, on the other hand, fucking killed that guitar solo, Ni. True star, you are. Good with all that showmanship stuff.” He was hoping that would make Niall blush, which it did, because it was probably the cutest thing he’d ever witnessed to date. The best part about Niall blushing was that he always did this thing where he scrunched his nose up and then tucked his face into the neck of the other person in attempt to shield his tomato redness and his uncontrollable giggles. Niall did just that and Louis felt himself relax more and more by the minute.

Louis also liked complimenting Niall because he knew how much it meant to him. All five boys had been friends since they were kids, meeting in one place or another. Niall had come to the group last and even though Harry was actually the youngest, they all looked Niall as the baby of the group. And Niall didn’t mind because he liked attention. Louis knew that from the first time they met when Niall’s dad had decided to take Niall up to the shops in London for the first time when he was eleven. On this particular day, Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn were there because Harry, Louis and Zayn’s Mums were getting their nails done and had decided to let them roam the city shops on that street. In a toy shop, Louis was looking at the superhero figurines when a toy plane hit the back of his head. Confused, Louis whipped around to find the culprit, a red-faced boy with a silly smile on his face. Louis had never seen him around before on the other trips he had taken there and for whatever reason that was unsettling to him.

“Who are you?” Louis demanded.

The boy spoke, revealing a very strong Irish accent. “I’m Niall. I’m here with me Da because he wanted to show me the shops. I’m still waitin’ to get to the record store, though, because I want to see where my albums will be one day.”

Louis thought he was a little weird, but in an oddly charming way. It might have had something to do with the accent or it could have been the wonder that shined through his pupils as he looked back at Louis. Louis scratched the back of his neck unsure of how to interact with him. “You, uh, want to meet my friends?”

Niall shook his head in an excited manner, so rapidly it seemed as though his head would fall off his shoulders at any moment.

After that, Niall fit in perfectly with the group and felt like the last missing piece to their previous quartet. Niall was rambunctious and rowdy, matching the other four on varying levels. But one thing that worked out best was the fact that they all loved Niall and Niall unconditionally loved them. That’s how they all started to see Niall as a puppy in human form because he literally was a puppy in human form with endless love, desire for attention and kisses.

Niall was still exactly the same, which made Louis even happier knowing that no matter how shitty things got in the world around them Niall was still Niall, ready to give love whenever needed.

“Niall, I don’t think I tell you I love you enough,” Louis noted with a deep sigh, holding Niall to him tighter.

Niall giggled again. “But you don’t have to tell me, Lou, because I already know. You show me small gestures of kindness such as when you put one of my strands of hair back into place or give me a quick thumbs up during a set after one of my guitar solos. You show me you love me everyday and it’s really nice because I love you, too. And I hope I show it to you enough because you deserve endless love, Louis.”

Louis batted his eyelashes to get rid of the tears that were threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. He didn’t feel like crying right then, happy tears or not. He cleared his throat before confirming, “You do show me enough, Ni. I couldn’t ask you for anything more.”

 

A little giggle erupted from Niall once again as and idea popped into his head. "You want me to give ya head, Lou?" Niall asked. He knew it would relax Louis more and maybe help take his mind off things for a bit, which was the result Niall was going for. Besides, Louis had always complimented him on his blowjobs because Niall was always willing to take what was given to him at all times with the bonus of gagging (which was something Louis enjoyed) unlike Liam, who would only blow Zayn, or Zayn, who had managed to train himself not to gag majority of the time, or Harry, who didn't really like gagging at all unless someone was gagging on his cock. 

 

"I'd love for you to give me head, but only if you want to, my little cherub," Louis answered.

 

Niall sat up and moved down so he sat straddling Louis' knees. "Anything for you."

 

Niall pulled down the hem of Louis' sweats, knowing full well he never wore anything under them. Louis had started to hardened as soon as Niall had mentioned blowing him because memories of past intimate moments had immediately filled his mind. Niall tenderly wrapped his fist around the base and began to stroke him. "Mmm," Louis sighed as Niall began to pick up his pace and he felt the first lick at his head. The salty taste of precum spread on Niall's tongue before he took all of Louis in one swift motion. Louis' back arched and he moaned out loudly, loud enough to catch Zayn's ear. 

 

It had been a while since they had group sex and even though that day didn't seem like the best day, the idea was planted in Zayn's mind and etched itself deeper and deeper with every moan that passed Louis' lips. Zayn, despite what his guy was telling him, got off the bed and made his way over to the couch to where Niall and Louis lay. 

 

Louis pulled Niall off by his hair in time to see Zayn coming towards them. "What can I do for you, Zaynie boy? Are we too loud for you two? Sorry, but Niall's just so good-"

 

Zayn cut him off. "How about a group thing, ay? I know it may not be the right day but... well, fuck, I wanted some group sex shit. Harry could fuck you and I could fuck Niall while you both blow each other or we could switch."

 

Louis had to admit, it sounded nice considering every other time they had done this turned out to be amazing and he was always blissed out afterward. Niall popped off and declared, "I'm up for that. Lou?"

 

The thought swam through his head before he shook his head quickly, silently begging for Harry to hurry because, once the thought had been put in his head, the idea of being filled up and fucked while being blown sounded amazing. Niall made his way up Louis so that he was eye-level and kissed him tenderly. That was how Niall started all of his kisses no matter what the circumstance; sweet, innocent and never representing what would be following. Niall's lips were slightly chapped, but Louis didn't mind, he liked the slight roughness and as he ran his tongue across Niall's bottom lip and welcomed the taste of him, maple syrup and chocolate milk, in. 

 

Harry and Zayn undressed, but stood back, allowing the two kissing boys time to undress and enjoying the show that they put on as their kissed got and more frantic. Niall began to rut against Louis' thigh, signalling he was ready to move on. Louis lightly slapped his bum. "Come on, wanna blow you." Niall blushed but did as he knew he was supposed, his knees placed on either side of Louis' head and his cock hung between his legs. Louis loved the sight of a well hung cock; he complimented the other boys on their endowment whenever he got the chance. But now wasn't a good time as he felt the couch dip above his head and below his bum and heard the closing of the lube cap. 

 

Niall immediately went back to sucking Louis off as he felt a cold, wet finger rubbing against his hole. His breath quickened in anticipation as Louis starting to work him and Zayn began to press his first finger in. It felt like a sensation overload; never before had Niall had someone sucking him off and fingering at the same time. With each deeper thrust of Zayn's finger and Louis taking him in inch by inch, Niall thought he would come right then, especially when he felt Zayn's ring against him rim. Niall had always loved Zayn's rings because they made him appear stronger, more in control and more likely to dominate him. He was the reason Zayn had started wearing rings during sex because of the one time he had forgotten to take them off. The rings sent Niall so far over the edge, he came twice and called Zayn daddy throughout (the other boys had come home just before he came the last time and after that they all wanted a turn with Niall). Feeling those rings again made him moan around Louis' cock, trying not to falter in his strokes. 

It had only been a few days since the last time Louis had been fucked and he had fingered himself the day before so Harry had an easier time spreading him open. Louis felt every minor stroke of his walls as Harry's long fingers filled him up. He had gotten fingered and sucked off before, but this time was extraordinary. Louis back arched, his mouth slipping off of Niall. "Oh, fuck, God. Harry, give me more, fuck... please." Harry did as he asked, sliding a third finger in beside his other two. 

 

Louis felt so good he could cry. He continued to stroke Niall, who began to fuck his fist as he got more and more eager. Louis was in a similar position, fucking himself on Harry's fingers and fucking Niall's welcoming mouth. 

 

Niall slipped off of Niall to say, "God, fuck me... fuck me, Daddy... please..." He moaned loudly as he felt one press to his prostate before he was empty, clenching around nothing and forcing himself to wait patiently for Zayn to line himself up.

 

The same happened to Louis, Harry dragging his fingers out slowly while pressed to his prostate. 

 

The wait was short but felt unbearable as they heard Harry and Zayn kissing above them. Harry and Zayn lined themselves up to either rim and slowly pushed in. The feeling was different for both boys; Niall was simply happy to have something in his ass, Louis was glad Harry was so thick because he always loved a good stretch. His bottom lip nearly raw from being bitten so hard as Zayn bottomed out, Niall was beautiful from Harry's angle. His usually red freckled cheeks were a nice pink which matched the color of his lips. If Harry hadn't been fucking Louis right then, he wouldn't waste a second or precious time Niall could be blowing him. On the other end, Zayn felt the same about Louis, whose lips were pink and inviting like Harry's just not nearly as plump. 

 

The four boys moans, whimpers and grunts mingled together in the hot air, creating a cacophony of ecstasy and pushing them further towards their climaxes. 

 

Zayn paused before re-angling himself in a way that made him hit Niall's prostate dead on, pushing moan after moan out of him. "Fuck fuck fu... fuck me harder, fuck me harder," Niall begged, beyond desperate. He wanted everything Zayn would give him and Zayn was more than happy to oblige, but there were small strings attached.

Zayn swiftly slapped Niall's bum and spit out through gritted teeth, "Aren't you forgetting something, Niall?"

 

"Fuck me harder, daddy. Please fuck me harder, daddy please," Niall said, his words tumbling out as he stumbled over them. The sound of skin slapping together got louder as Zayn held tighter to Niall's hips and thrust harder. Niall's arms gave out causing him to fall against Louis' hip. He mouthed at Louis' dick from where he was, but was brought back up to his hands when Zayn pulled him up by his hair. 

 

Meanwhile, Louis' back arched as the drag against his pleasure became unbearable and he needed Harry to fuck him right soon or he thought he might explode. "Harry... fucking... fuck me right... dammit..." Louis bit his lip as Harry slowed down, grazing over his prostate like the tease he was. "You...  _bastard_..." Harry only chuckled in response. He knew that even though Louis hated being teased, it riled him up more and gave him some of his best orgasms (no matter how much he tried to deny it, but Louis' blushing and refusal to make eye contact always gave him away). Harry rolled his hips expertly, finally doing what Louis wanted but still dragging in a way that made Louis' back arch and his hands search for something to grab. His breath hitched and he was ready to fucking kill Harry for making him feel so good but not fucking him harder enough that he could come then. The tightness in his abdomen continually grew but Louis felt no relief from this torturous speed. "Let me fucking come, you fucking tease," Louis hissed. But all he heard in response was another laugh from Harry. It was obvious he was enjoying himself as he watched Louis squirm, sweat and beg.  

 

Finally, after what felt like ages, Harry snapped his hips forward, pushing Louis a bit up the bed. He took hold of Louis' hips and did as he'd been asking for the whole time.

 

Louis and Niall's mouths permanently stayed open as moans were forced out of their bodies with each thrusts. They finally could feel that relief getting near as they edged towards pure bliss. Niall was first, coming with a loud moan as he shot his load all over Louis' lips and chest. 

 

"Oh god," Louis moaned out as he came, surprised and tipped over by Niall's sudden orgasm.

 

Harry and Zayn grunted as they came at nearly the same time at the sight of the boys beneath them, their faces dripping with each other's come. They fucked through it and when they finally finished spilling their loads, they kissed once above Louis and Niall. The pair whined as they felt Harry and Zayn pull out because of their sensitivity.

 

But Harry and Zayn weren't done quite yet. They switches sides and  knelt behind their prospective boy and spread their cheeks. As they had done many times before, Harry and Zayn dipped their tongues past the sensitive ring of muscles to taste each other. Niall and Louis whimpered because they felt overstimulated but their tongues felt so good, they couldn't resist them.

 

Once Niall and Louis were nice and clean, Harry and Zayn sat up.

 

"So?" Harry began.

 

"Everything you guy's were hoping for?" Zayn finished.

 

Louis tried to shake himself out of the dream-like state he ended up in. "Bloody amazing. Now let me sleep."

 

Niall stood up on wobbly legs just to lay himself back down next to Louis. "Same here. Love you."

 

Zayn and Harry chuckled. "Love you, too, Ni," they echoed simultaneously. Harry walked back to the bed as Zayn added, "And you too, Louis." Louis grumbled in response, but Zayn hadn't expected much else. He grabbed the first flannel he saw and cleaned Louis and Niall up before heading over to the bed to lay next to Harry once again.

                                                                                                                            *****

An hour later the van’s abrupt stop successfully woke all of its passengers. Zayn sat up first, utterly confused as to why they had been jerked awake in an environment he couldn’t remember well. However, glancing over at Harry beside him helped him regain his memory and he was no longer worried.

“We’re here, boys!” Liam called from the front of the van, oddly chipper despite being the only one without any extra sleep in his system.

The other boys groaned, wanting nothing more than to sleep the rest of the day. Liam made his way to the back and upon noticing Zayn was the only one up, he exchanged smiles with him before starting on lunch for all. By the time Liam was done, everyone was coming to their senses and groggily crawled their way from their spots. They found chicken sandwiches waiting for them in differing shapes, some geometric and some unusual.

Louis cleared his throat as he stared at the plate. “Liam, why does my sandwich look like a penis?”

Liam frowned at the abrupt question about his work. “It’s a rocketship, Louis.”

Louis snorted. “Right, yea, sure, it’s a big rocketship with big blasters, of course.”

Zayn and Niall snickered while Harry simply smiled and Liam blushed with embarrassment. “It’s a rocketship,” he grumbled one last time before taking a seat himself.

They all dug in, the only sound being the periodic crunch or sound of approval. Louis was the first to break the silence.   
  


“I’d like to play some football today. Could be fun since we haven’t been out in so long,” Louis suggested.

The boys exchanged glances and stated their agreements over one another.

Louis nodded, acting as if he caught it all and chuckling at the thing they had done since they were kids. “It’s settled then. We’ll find somewhere to play some footie.”

Just then there was a knock on the van door. It was odd for that hour considering they had just gotten back into town and it was before three pm. Harry volunteered himself to go see who it was and was surprised to see a girl standing there, looking very nervous. Assuming she might have been a fan, Harry immediately turned on his charm. “Well, hello there. What’s a pretty girl like you doing here?”

The girl fiddled with her fingers, constantly looking around her. “Is Niall still with you?”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “Uh, yea… May I ask what business you have with Niall?”

The girl looked as though she was struggling to find the right words. When Harry thought she was about to speak, she turned to walk away. Completely dumbfounded, Harry peered around the door of the van to see where she went to find her holding a young child’s hand. Once she was standing in front of Harry again, she vaguely explained. “Remember the time you were here a few years ago and you all had that big O party in the van? Well… um… I had Niall’s baby.”

That last sentence made its way into the van and into the ears of all the band members, making them all freeze in their positions and their jaws to drop. Niall’s kid? Niall’s kid? None of them had ever thought about possibly having a kid let alone the possibility of having the child’s mother show up at their van to talk about it with them.

Niall gulped as he got up from his chair and hopped out of the van. “So she’s mine?” he questioned, looking down at the small, strawberry blonde girl standing before him. She had his eyes and his nose, that’s for sure, and she had bright clusters of freckles just like he had as a kid. He wouldn’t deny that she looked similar to him and looking at her mother, all the memories of that night flooded back and the girls age added up correctly. “What’re ya here for then, if you don’t mind me asking.”

His baby’s mother shifted uneasily from one foot to another which made Niall uncomfortable because she was taking too long of pauses for his liking. Niall started to expect the worst like the little girl was dying and this would be the one time he met or something of the sort, but what she said surprised him greatly.

“I need you to take care of her.”

“For a few days?” Harry countered.

The mother shook her head. This was obviously getting hard for her. “Forever. I’m unfit to be a mother. And my boyfriend currently is even less fit to be a parent than I am. I want to keep her, I truly do. I mean, I love her with all my heart. But I want what I think would be best for her and I think it will be best if she lived with you.”

Niall opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off. “Her name is Cassidy, like you said that you liked. I know you were pretty drunk but you said you loved the name Cassidy and wanted to name your kid Cassidy so… I did. Cassidy Adelaide Horan. She likes to go by Cassidy, Adelaide, Cas or Ade or anything else you may think of.” The woman carefully grabbed Niall’s hand and placed his daughter’s hand in his own. Niall marveled at the size difference but couldn’t for long because he realized this was wrong. He couldn’t take a child from her mother, especially when it was so inept to raise a kid himself. But before he could say a word the woman off down the street at a near running pace. Niall couldn’t just let this go though so he gave Cassidy’s hand to Harry who immediately took to taking care of her before he ran after her done the street.

He nearly caught up to her when she rounded a corner and jumped into her boyfriend’s arms. “She’s finally out of our hair, baby,” Niall overheard her say, making him completely stop in his tracks. He considered calling out on how horrible she was being, but stopped when he felt eyes on his back, two in particular being Cassidy’s. She wasn’t crying, but even from there he could see the sadness in them.

Niall walked back over to the sound of a car speeding down the road. He picked up the little girl and studied her face more carefully. “So,” he said cautiously, “you like football?”

Cassidy nodded. “‘M pretty good, too.”

Niall smiled because she sounded exactly like he had hoped she would. “Good, good, then do you want to go to the park with us to play some footie?”

Cassidy nodded again. “I’ve got no other choice, do I?”

Niall and the other boys laughed heartily, making Cassidy smile for first time. “Yea, I guess ya don’t.”

At the park, the boys all sat at a picnic bench as Cassidy played with some kids she had met while going down the slide. They were in desperate need of an emergency band meeting.

“Ok, I think we all know why we’re doing this,” Zayn proceeded. “None of us know how to raise a kid and we don’t have nearly enough money to raise a kid.”

Harry offered, “We can’t just get rid of her, though.” The other boys nodded their agreement.

“Very true, which is why I saw we give ourselves a few days to think about this,” Liam mediated. “We don’t want to make any rash decisions that could potentially hurt Cassidy or ourselves. We can take care of her, feed her, the whole deal for these few days and then figure out what would be best for all of us. So I say we wait.”

“We wait,” Zayn, Harry and Louis say. Niall is still stuck in his own little world at the moment, unsure of what to say and what to feel.

Niall watched as his daughter played around with other kids as if the events that happened only a matter of time earlier barely bothered her. It was commendable and amazing but it worried Niall because he didn’t know what was normal for a child and he feared that she could be doing something wrong that he wouldn’t notice.

“I’m gonna fuck this up.”  
  


                                                                                                                                    *****

A few weeks later, Niall’s biggest fear of messing Cassidy up for life became a reality. Niall had left Cassidy with Zayn to watch her for a bit while he was busy at a business meeting. Zayn walked away to get a few people who were trying to vandalize the van away as Liam and Louis made out against the door and Cassidy managed to get herself into their liquor cabinet. It was quite simple with no one watching her and Niall hadn't found the time to baby proof the van just yet. He had been meaning to since the day after Cassidy got there when Zayn suggested it, but Niall didn't think she would be getting into anything because someone would always be watching her. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case that night. When Niall and Harry came home, they all made their way into the van to find Cassidy drunk and puking all over the ground.

"No!" Niall screamed. Niall dropped to his knees beside his daughter as feelings of hopelessness started setting in. It had only been a few weeks since she had gotten there and something had already happened. Something that was completely preventable and it was his fault for not being there to watch her. How could he rely anyone else? He shouldn’t have. This is his kid and he has to be responsible for her, but the problem was he was barely responsible for himself.

Niall, out of pure embarrassment, began to sweat as he was caught in the middle of letting his kid know and the others around him that he was a huge screw up. It was his fault nothing was baby proof, it was his fault for leaving her with others to do his parenting job, everything was hit fault and for all he knew she could have alcohol poisoning. Harry jumped into the van and got her water and aspirin, looking to relieve her pain without making her sick. As he saw that Cassidy was taken care of,  Niall started to walk away from there,  where he wasn't needed.

"Oi, where do you think you're going?" Zayn asked before Niall got far.

Without missing a beat, Niall yelled, "You're all a better father than me. Take care of her, will you?"

Niall took off running down the street. He was out of shape even more so now because of his alcohol and cigarette habit. Despite the calls he heard behind him, he keep running until  he no longer could hear or see anything behind him.

He slowed down when he saw a family having dinner in their dining room. The daughter looked happy and content only because her father was there for her to cry on his shoulder and to protect her. That was what a father should be,  not whatever he was doing.

Harry and Zayn and Louis and Liam, in those respective pairs,  split up for the  search for Niall, knowing they could cover more ground this way.

Louis knew this would probably be seen as a bad time, but there was something he needed to get off his chest. He didn't want to repeat his mistakes. "Li, could I ask you something?"

Liam shrugged. "Sure, ask away."

A deep breath rippled through Louis' tiny body as he searched for the proper words. "What do you think about us?"

"I think we have a wonderful dynamic that were too enthralled by other people to even realize how great we'd be together. Why?"

Louis continued to let himself take deep breaths to try and calm his nerves. He wasn’t sure if this was right after the things that had gone down a few weeks earlier and even though they were supposed to be looking for Niall, he knew he hadn’t run down here. However, besides all that, there was still the possibility that Liam was actually interested in a relationship with him and he was just somebody to fuck while he got his mind off of Zayn. Louis, ignoring all of his feelings, decided to take the plunge. "How would you feel about giving us a try?"

There was this thing they liked to do when they were thinking similar thoughts where one of them would pull the other close to kiss them lazily and languidly, their tongues mingling to exchange their feelings.

Meanwhile,  Niall was still watching the family when he felt a small hand slip into his own.

"You haven't realized yet but we have that. With Uncle Louis,  Uncle Zayn, Uncle Liam and Uncle  Harry.  We have our own family just like that. Don't let this go because you screwed up this one time, Dad. You’re new to this and besides, this isn’t your fault. And I love you and I don’t want you to leave me, too.”

In tears, Niall picked Cassidy up and held her close to him. He stroked her hair as he whispered, “I love you, too, Cass, I could never leave you.”

Niall realized this was his first lesson in parenting. He realized he was going to screw up again but he had to face it and do whatever it takes to make it better. He wanted and needed Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn by his side through the process and most of all, they all needed Cassidy in their lives.

 


End file.
